High Five for Friday: June 8

Let's see what put the sparkle into this week!

• So when I did my yoga teacher training, I had no aspirations of actually teaching--I really just wanted to be in a community and also forced to do yoga more. So naturally, I now have a student! 😂😂 And I taught her for the first time on Saturday! I got to incorporate two of my loves, Victorian poetry and dance, into the class, and she seemed to like it, so I was basically doing cartwheels! haha

• This has not been a bad anxiety week, hooray! On Tuesday, my therapist even said that I was the best she'd ever seen me, anxiety-wise! (I've been seeing her for almost three years, so WOW/YIKES!) In my June goals post, I talked about how my hormones seem to be affecting my anxiety, and I’m still a week out from ~that time of the month~, so this is very interesting. I did really feel quite good on Tuesday, like focused and together, rather than edgy and obsessive. So it is possible! I am capable of feeling that way! Good to know! 🎉😂

This guy also brightened up my Tuesday!

• You guys, I started reading last week. Like, an actual book. For FUN! 😮 I think being an English major twice over really killed my love of reading (because it became so much like work), so I'll take this sudden desire to read! A few years ago, I bought a bunch of my favorite random library books from like fifth and sixth grade from Amazon, and one of those '80s YA gems is what I suddenly wanted to read last week, go figure.

• This week's Weird-Ass Song comes to you courtesy of Cher. That broad sure can rock an '80s power ballad. This is an excellent song for belting out in your car, in case you were wondering. And the video is basically Dirty Dancing with bigger hair, less clothing, and more candles. 💯 for sure.

• Lastly, I have no idea why Jesse Williams (aka Jackson from Grey's Anatomy) is posting memes about rompers, but this made me laugh out loud while also being TOO REAL at the same time. 😬

A post shared by jesse Williams (@ijessewilliams) on Jun 3, 2018 at 3:01am PDT

Hope you have a great weekend! xo

May 2018 Budget

Guys, hold onto your hats--I didn't buy ANYTHING in May! The three things I'm going to mention here were actually bought in April, but after my April budget post.

It seems like when my anxiety goes berserk, I can't handle shopping anymore. I can't focus on anything, so the idea of walking around looking at things, when I might burst into tears or start panicking, just seems like way too much to deal with. I would say that this is good for my bank account, buuut all of my money in May went toward extra therapy, yoga, and meditation! At least those are positive things to be spending my money on, I guess!

ANYWAY! Here are a few tops I picked up at Plato's Closet at the end of April (when I was really feeling the color green, apparently!):

1. Green Gap tee: $5
2. Green tank: $7
3. Blue Gap top: $7

TOTAL: $19

I've been really stressed about money lately, but I can live with spending only $19 on clothes/accessories/make-up/skin care in a month! I've been really into soft, slouchy shirts lately, and the Gap shirts definitely fit that criteria! And I've been looking for a dressy-ish tank or blouse to wear with skinny black pants because I literally have two tops like that, and I wear them to everything. I need to mix it up!

Did you get anything fun last month?

June 2018 goals

Let's see what's on the white board this month!

1. Try three more new things: GUYS. I thought for sure this would be the hardest goal last month, and I CRUSHED IT! So I decided to give it another whirl this month.

2. Get my hormones tested: I'm really starting to think that my hormones are affecting my anxiety. I've been noticing that my anxiety and obsessive thoughts get worse closer to my period. So while I'm never thrilled for blood work, I'm really curious if it could give me some insight and possibly a path toward relief.

3. Stick to budget for real this time: You'll see below why this one got off track, but I want to give it another try in June.

4. Keep up with meditation: I inadvertently joined a meditation class in May! (I was supposed to teach a yoga class that no one showed up for, and the meditation class was conveniently happening right after, so, hey!) I have a lot (A LOT) of resistance to breathing and sitting still and, well, not distracting, but I do want to give this meditation thing a shot.

5. Secret goal step #1: OooOOoo so mysterious! haha Nah, I'm just not ready to get into this one on here yet. But I think including it will help to keep me accountable (...maybe).

And how did May's goals go?

Do three new things (or, at a minimum, three things I don't regularly do): Well, let’s see... I taught a yoga class, drove to two new places, got energy healing, met with a potential private yoga client, went to three new yoga classes, and started going to the aforementioned meditation class. This is huge for me!! 🙌🏻

Get up early to start my day with a Kalyn Nicholson YouTube video: This goal was going along fine until major anxiety derailed a solid week, and I've had a hard time getting up early again when sleep is an alternative, haha.

Make budget and stick to it // pay off credit card: I did pay off my credit card and was doing fine with sticking to my budget until the anxiety storm hit. Then came extra therapy sessions and doctor's appointments and supplements, and I couldn't get myself to do things like, say, getting out of bed, let alone balancing my checkbook. So the budget went off-track. I'm just glad it was due to regular therapy and not retail therapy for a change! 

Self-freaking-care: Hmm... I did make self-care a priority when I was forced to (during the anxiety storm). The next step, I guess, is integrating these things into my life when I'm only feeling low-grade anxiety. 

Taking alone time for myself at home: This did happen sometimes, hooray! 🎉

Well, as usual, this month's tarot card was spot-on. Although when I pulled it, I was rather concerned by the number of fiery sticks!

Holding my ground? Courage and persistence? Fear about not being able to win everybody over? ✔️✔️✔️ 

What are you working on this month? How do you manage intense anxiety?

Linking up with Nicole at Feel Good, Dress Better!

High Five for Friday: June 1

Well, this week just flew by! What even happened?! Let's find out what brought the sparkle!

• On Monday, I went over to a friend’s house, which worked out well because I woke up super anxious, but he also has anxiety, so he was fine with it. It was possibly the most patriotic Memorial Day I’ve ever had, because he had on World War II in Colour on Netflix! Chatting against the backdrop of the war in the Pacific was an unexpected way to spend the day! 😂 I also got to check out the pretty flowers in his neighborhood, which you know I was all about! 😍

• This has been the song of the week, thanks to my friend Kristin getting on a CSN kick. The first time I heard “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes,” I’m pretty sure I was riding in the car with Pops in seventh grade, and it blew my mind. Those harmonies are just unreal. 

• Speaking of music, Pops went to the Bowie exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum on Wednesday (so jealous!) and brought me back this Low magnet! (Which is sort of hilarious because he’s generally 🙄 about Low, but I love “Be My Wife” and “A New Career in a New Town”!) David Bowie was actually my first concert, on what turned out to be his last tour. 💔 I was a junior in high school, and I got to see David Bowie. What a lucky duck. 

Pops got to go to the David Bowie exhibit at the @brooklynmuseum yesterday (😭) and brought me back this magnet! And then we figured out that we actually saw Bowie live 14 years ago yesterday—my first concert! 😍❤️ This is also where I first heard/fell in love with “A New Career in a New Town”—which is on Low! #fullcircle . . . #davidbowie #stillmourning 💔#bowierealitytour

A post shared by Jess (@jessie_face4) on May 31, 2018 at 8:08am PDT

• Yesterday marked TWO YEARS with my lil babydoll car!! WOW. And to think, I had just started exposure therapy for driving when I first joined the H54F link-up back in 2015! Crazy. Being able to drive all over the place with (some) ease may not seem like a big deal, but it is freaking miraculous for me! 🎉

• Lastly, trying to keep Pops apprised of the NBA players the Kardashians are dating is a full-time job. At least this time, he already knows who Ben Simmons is!

...unlike when I broke the news that Khloe was having a baby with Tristan Thompson! 😂 

Hope you have a great weekend! xo

High Five for Friday: May 25

YOU GUYS! The sparkle is back! I’m finally feeling better after a week-long bout of super-intense anxiety! 🎉 Here’s what else was sparkling this week:

• Firstly, a friend posted this, and it was definitely something I needed to hear. ❤️

• Because my anxiety was still going berserk last Friday, I signed up for a yoga class with the teacher who teaches the Sunday class that I usually go to. And I ended up being the only one there! So I got to chat with her for awhile about my anxiety (she could relate), and she geared her whole class around that, which was so nice and definitely helped calm me down, at least for a little bit.

• On Saturday, I again woke up feeling super anxious, so I went to another yoga class, and during the class, I briefly lost it. Like all of the feelings I'd been trying to avoid just crashed down on me and left me panicked. AH. But I made it through! After class, I didn't want to go straight home, and I also didn't feel up to painting my toes for a wedding I was going to that night (I was in a sorry state!), so I got a pedicure! And ended up having to walk 0.4 miles in those foam flip flop thingies like a rube (as you may have seen on my Insta Stories)! But that made me laugh, which was a welcome occurrence--as was just sitting around reading People magazine while someone else did the thing I couldn't get my act together to do!

• On Saturday night, I got to watch my dear friend Sara get married! And see a few of my old work friends, which was a delight! (I went stag and legitimately could have known no one, so I almost did cartwheels when I saw their names on the seating chart!) Sara had just met her now HUSBAND around the time that I first met her (at our old job), so I feel like I've seen all the stages of their relationship. But most importantly, they had a freaking DONUT WEDDING CAKE, which, besides being amazing, should make it easy to see #whywerefriends haha! 

• Lastly, it seems to follow that the more wigged out I am, the more 1998-99 Lucky and Liz I'm watching—so you know I was tuning into them last week, haha! They're just so darn adorable. This scene is super sweet but also made me chuckle because what song would be better for a morose soap opera montage in 1998 than "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls? (I've actually always liked the Goo Goo Dolls, so this also sent me down a rabbit hole with them!)

And while we're on the topic of irises, look at this beauty I found after therapy on Monday! I've never seen this color scheme before! #PurpleIsANeutral

Private Iris is watching you 🕵🏻‍♀️

Hope you have a great weekend! xo