Hi friends! Thanks for stopping by—I’m so glad you’re here! 😁
There has been a good deal of sparkle this week, mostly stemming from actual self-care—like, treating myself with care. Cue the Traveling Wilburys, I guess!
Ever since I had covid, my anxiety has been WHACK. Even though I’m physically better now, there have still been significant anxiety aftershocks. So in this more dysregulated time, I finally stopped trying to force myself to be fine. I decided to reprioritize and simplify:
Literally working through this in my journal. 😌
The sleeping and eating goals may seem like, well, DUH, but I usually let other “productive” things take precedence over them. I’ve been pretty divorced from my physical body for a long time. It was just safer that way. It also led to a lot of accomplishments. Pushing through illness and exhaustion was just part of the gig.
But that tendency has slowly been shifting over the years. During covid, when it felt like my cells were boiling, I was like, “DUDE, THIS SUCKS. How did I ever go to school with fevers?!” I’m just not cut off from my body in the same way anymore. And I can feel my anxiety seriously spike when I don’t get enough sleep or skip meals. So dealing with those things seemed like a good, practical place to start.
I’m not gonna lie—additional medication is also getting me through this rough patch. For a few years now, I had “as needed” Valium at my disposal, but I rarely remembered to take it because—surprise!—I felt like I needed to just push myself through the awful anxiety times. When you’re used to blowing through physical stop signs, how do you know when ”bad enough” is bad enough mentally? When I confessed that to my psych NP last week, she was just like, “Oh, okay, let’s try a different med temporarily, and I’ll just make up a schedule for you to follow.” (I have no issue taking my other, regularly scheduled, meds.)
So, WOW, sorry that was so long-winded and “where are you going, where have you been,” but that is what dealing with these aftershocks has been like. And thanks to these changes, life has begun to feel much lighter and sparklier! ✨💖
Two other big sources of sparkle came from nourishing my soul last weekend! On Saturday, I got a massage, my first one in years! I so needed that space to decompress and feel a comforting, caring touch. And I was able to tolerate the stillness, which would not have been possible even one week earlier. 💖
Then on Sunday, I had an absolutely delightful day! It started out with my one requisite fall PSL… 😂
(It takes me forever to drink things, hence the literal child’s size! 🤣)
for my drive to the botanical garden, where I stayed for hours (yes, even though I had just been there), and had such a wonderful, uplifting time. I love looking at beautiful plants and flowers and trying to capture them in photos. Bri had recently told me that she has been trying to live her best life when she can, and I definitely had that in mind when I made my Sunday plans! 💖
