Twelve Months of Bliss: December

Well great, now "Part of Your World" is stuck in my head. Fun fact: it's the only song I've ever karaoked solo!

I have this condition that some of you may share... ye olde stranger danger. Considering I take 8 modes of Septa A DAY, I spend a lot of time with a lot of strangers. So I do a million little things to avoid contact. I wear headphones, I walk fast, I ignore pretty much anyone trying to get my attention, and all of the above is usually accompanied by resting bitch face. I may seem and look rude, but honestly, I'm terrified. My worldview is generally dark and scary, and I think that everyone wants to hurt me. When people approach me, especially in the city, I can feel my adrenaline start rushing. My anxiety has taken my dad's lectures on "city smarts" to an almost pathological degree.

So you can see why Emily's December prompt to "pay bliss forward" was a bit of an issue, you know, with my fear of people and all. *insert crying while laughing emoji*

I didn't do anything dramatic with this prompt, but it really did make me more mindful of other people amid the holiday rush. I used it as a reminder to stop and hold doors in the train station and to make some cheery small talk in the elevator at the doctor's office. When I took the two seconds to see if someone was behind me on my way out of Nordstrom Rack, I wound up holding the door for a girl who was carrying a million bags. She was super appreciative and joked about how she had procrastinated on her Christmas shopping. It's amazing how one tiny act of kindness from us can be so helpful to another person and just light them up. Something to keep in mind so that I'm not afraid of everyone in 2016 ;)

January goals

Ok, I just had to use a picture of my friend's adorable cat, since I've been watching her for all of three days and have taken roughly a million pictures of her. And how daunting can goals be when they are ushered in by that precious face?! 

Sorry for the crappy pic and I swear I wasn't writing during an earthquake!

1. Taking a page out of Fran's book, I'm going to transfer my shopping budget money to its own checking account and see if that curbs my tendency to overspend.
2. Check bank account daily--another way to stay on top of my finances in 2016.
3. Look into affiliate links for the blog, since I really know nothing about them! :)
4. I've cleaned a bunch of stuff out of my closet (woo hoo!), so it's time to hit the consignment shops!
5. I'm actually enjoying getting up a little early (even though that often means getting up earlier in the hour of 5--a time that no one without a screaming baby should be getting up!)! I've been using the Breathe app when I first get up, and then playing around with posts or watching fun YouTube videos. Taking a few minutes for myself before getting ready for work has been a delightful addition to my day! 

Ok, so how did December's Goals go?

1. Keep track of spending. BAHAHAHAHAHA. If you read my budget post, then you can laugh along with me. ;)
2. Talk to doc about sleeping issues/dreams. CHECK! We made some medication adjustments which, along with not watching Grey's before bed, seem to be helping. Although not as much as I would like :-/ 
3. Send Christmas cards. CHECK! And a good thing too since it's, you know, January.
4. Go to 2-3 yoga classes (especially during the holidays). CHECK! I went to three yoga classes this month INCLUDING ones the weeks of Christmas and New Year's! 
5. Watch out for anxiety spirals, especially on/around Christmas and NYE. CHECK! I think the yoga helped, as did taking off a bunch of time at the end of the year. The holidays were actually great; now, I need to be mindful of separation anxiety, since that seems to be my biggest post-holiday/time-off hurdle.

What are you guys working on this month?

Linking up with Nicole over at Writes Like a Girl!

High Five for Friday: January 1

HAPPY NEW YEAR, and welcome back to my favorite type of post!! *confetti horn emoji* Although I would have had no time to write it, I did really miss reflecting on the good things happening Christmas week. So let's see what put the sparkle into the last TWO weeks!

• Ok, first of all, it was 70 FREAKIN DEGREES here in Philly on Christmas Eve!!! I don't remember it ever being so warm for Christmas and I took full advantage of my Second Amendment right to bare arms (and legs and toes!)! ;D

Outdoor photo sesh after Christmas Eve Mass nbd

• Although I didn't ask for anything in particular this Christmas (I can never think of anything I want when I'm put on the spot like that!), I got some delightful gifts!

Benefit and Zoya sets from my mom! I'm currently wearing "Rue," the middle shade in the Zoya set, and it's this awesome mauvey griege <3

My bffl sent me gifts for my "inner child," haha. Cat stickers, Frozen socks, GoT coloring book, and emoji keychains ftw!

• B got a surprise Christmas/Hannukkah gift this year when I didn't hate the new Star Wars movie! (A few days removed from it, I'm like, "wait, a lot of that movie makes no sense" but hey, I loved it in the moment.) B promptly capitalized on my sudden interest and got me to watch A New Hope, which I liked a lot. I did fall asleep during The Empire Strikes Back, but after the Battle of Hoth at least! (We had the N64 "Shadows of the Empire" game when I was a kid, so I am very familiar with AT-ATs and Wampas!)

These are not the movies I'm (usually) looking for. (See what I did there?? heh)

• In a devastating turn of events, it seems that watching Grey's before bed is not mixing well with my other sleep issues (like the vivid dreams). Wahhhh. Luckily, I've stumbled on a fun YouTube channel that has nothing to do with hospitals and crises: the delightful alannaramaa! This is the first of her videos that I watched, and once I saw her start freaking out about Game of Thrones with unblended concealer all over her face, I was like, I want to be this girl's BFF! haha She's super down-to-earth and engaging and honest about products she likes and dislikes. LOVE HER.

• On Tuesday, since I was off, I got to go to Sephora and Macy's and just play around and get some samples and get made up. SO FUN. I'm sure I also entertained any passers-by when I tried to put on mascara at Sephora, despite being blind as a bat and not tall enough to get close to the mirror. Oops! (It still turned out pretty well,  though, and my lashes were sky high! Definitely want to try this Clinique mascara again sometime.) 

Ok, so I did pick up a few things, but I'd been wanting the Bobbi Brown Corrector forever and had a gift card! Woo!

I hope you all had marvelous holidays and have a great start to new year! I'm not usually a fan of New Year's BUT I get to spend the first week of the year catsitting this adorable little angel!!!!! :D

December 2015 budget

Oh dear. It was a wacky budget month around here. I spent 2/3 of my budget on Cyber Monday, then wound up returning almost everything (including the faux squeaky boots!), then got caught up in holiday madness and stopped budget tracking as closely as I should have, AND THEN I realized that I'd hadn't transferred my original December Budget List from my old planner. Gah! The type-A overachiever Virgo in me is weeping over this, and the fact that I've blown my streak of three-consecutive-months-on-budget.

(On the plus side, I got a big consignment check in December, which went directly into savings!)

1. Tulip-Back Sweater (Old Navy): $23 on sale for $13
2. Ralph Lauren studs (Nordstrom Rack): $17
3. Nordstrom Rack studs: $12
4. Skinfood Egg White Pore Foam (Amazon): $9
5. Missha Pore Correcting Toner (Soko Glam): $14 on sale for $10
6. Relaxed Scoop-Neck Tee (Old Navy): $6 on sale for $4
7. Convertible Northern Mist Pendant (Chloe+Isabel): $78 on sale for $46

Not pictured:

1. Loft tunic tee (Plato's Closet): $7
2. Delia's polka-dot sweater (Plato's Closet): $6
3. J. Crew tee (Plato's Closet): $9
4. Chambray Button-Down Shirt (Target): $22 on sale for $16
5. OPI Ce-less-tial Is More (Ulta): $10 on sale for $5
6. Blowfish Bilocate wedge booties (Modcloth): $70 sale on sale for $27
7. C20 Vitamin C Serum (Wishtrend): $22 on sale for $15
8. COSRX Pore Brush (Wishtrend): $11
9. Etude House Moistfull Collagen Emulsion (Amazon): $15
10. Etude House Collagen Eye Patch (eBay): $3
11. Missha Time Revolution Night Repair Ampoule samples (eBay): $4
12. Missha Time Revolution White Cure Toner and Lotion samples (eBay): $4

TOTAL: $233

Favorite purchase:

When I get obsessive about something, look out! As you can see, I'm all-in on this 8,000 step Korean skincare process, haha! (And I've actually been sticking to it, which is miraculous because I'm traditionally pretty lazy when it comes to skincare!) I've been using the Skinfood Egg White Pore in the morning and it makes my face feel so clean. I've followed that with the Missha toner and First Treatment Essence, both of which soak in instantaneously and make my skin feel amazing. Not surprisingly, Missha is the Korean skincare line I like the most so far. I will eventually do a review of the Korean products I've tried, I swear! :)

Least favorite:

Ok, so matte glitter nail polishes, like OPI Liquid Sand and Zoya Pixie Dust, are my holiday go-tos because they seem to last longer before chipping, at least on me. I was psyched to find a pretty rose gold version in Ce-less-tial Is More, but when I actually put it on, it chipped in HOURS. And not tiny chips but like half-the-nail-polish-comes-off-at-once chips. SO ANNOYING. I don't know if I just got a bad bottle or what, but I'm not pleased with it!

NOW. Here's the part where I total up how much I've spent on clothes, shoes, accessories, make-up, skincare, etc. each month in 2015 and have a heart attack.

$2,768

Welp, there's the down-payment on a car that I've been trying futilely to save. Or a security deposit for an apartment, or an emergency fund. I never feel like I have any money, and this might be why! (I can't believe I'm posting this btw. Like, I'm pretty embarrassed to see how much I've spent in the past year. However, I've also been quite apathetic about changing my spending habits, so maybe feeling this way will help impel me toward change.) 

Then I started playing with the numbers. If I'd stuck to my budget of $170/month every month in 2015, I'd have spent $724 less.

If I lowered my budget to $150 and stuck to that, my yearly spending would be $1800. ALMOST $1,000 LESS.

Wow. Just wow. Mattie gave me the idea to total up my spending, and while I hate how horrified I feel right now, maybe it will finally get me to change. I'm never going to be a spartan spender, but I certainly don't need to be spending this much money on things that won't dramatically improve my life, in the way that a car, or therapy, or my own place, or vacations would. I'm somebody who balks at shelling out, say, more than $50 at once but can easily drop $5 here, $20 there, and be oblivious to how quickly that all adds up. (Case in point: This month's budget.)

Well, my eyes have been opened. I certainly have a lot to consider heading into a new year and a fresh start.

Linking up with Franish's Budgeting Bloggers!

Bah humbug, no, that's too strong

...even if it's not my favorite holiday. I've been trying to get into the Christmas spirit, you guys! Look at that wintry plaid! Look at what I'm standing next to! Look at that tree! It's indescribably beautiful, just like the leg lamp! Just don't look at my dad's 85 hoodies and jackets in the background! ;D

Shirt: Old Navy (2015 and sadly sold out!)

Jeans: H&M (2013)

Booties: Madden Girl (2012)

Necklace: Target (2015 and also sold out! dang!)

Watch: Target (2015)

Nail Polish: Sally Hansen Triple Shine in "Oyster Bar"

I think this is a cute quietly (and casually) festive outfit, what with the plaid, the sparkle, and the boots. I would totally wear this on Christmas, since I only get "dressed up" for Christmas Eve Mass.

And since we're getting into the spirit and all, here are two of my favorite Christmas ornaments! How cute are they?!

Pretty sure my grandmother's bestie, a crocheting goddess, made this ornament back in the day.

How awesome are these wooden 12 Days of Christmas ornaments?! At one time, we did have all twelve... now we only have three. :(  

As this is my last post before the big Christmas day, I wanted to share the mantra I'm using this holiday week. It's something that Sheryl of How to Make a Life said in response to my comment on her Grief, Stress, and the Holidays post. It's also very approp because I realized in EMDR last week just how many of my current fears are fueled by bad memories. My feelings toward Christmas and New Year's (I almost typed "New TEARS" which is hilariously more accurate!) certainly fall into that category. My default is to think negatively, so words like Sheryl's are a great relief to me--the reminder that when things are awful, they won't continue that way forever. So I wanted to be sure to include this for anyone else not psyched about the holidays. <3

I love you all and wish you the merriest Christmas (or non-Christmas or whatever you want it to be!)! I'll be back next week with my budget post, 12 Months of Bliss recap, and High Five for Friday! :)