To Sparkle Punch...

High Five for Friday: August 31

JessComment

Oh man guys, these last two weeks have been bananas! I'm sorry I bailed on H54F last week. Let’s see what put the sparkle into the past TWO weeks!

  • I did this super cool spiritual retreat on a whim last week! We learned a lot about energy healing (kind of like reiki but not) and even got to try it out on each other. Feeling the energy in my own hands was so wild and awesome. And as much as I struggle with meditation, I can see where it might be useful when I get lost in strong emotions... which happened last week, hence the break from H54F. I am always one to distract and avoid, but maybe if I let myself feel the feelings I run from, they won't come back and smite me later. One of the girls from the retreat (and YTT) is a real gem and has been helping to make meditation seem less scary, showing me how to access my breath when I'm super triggered and calm myself down.

 

  • Last Tuesday (8/28) was my birthday! It was not a very exciting day, as I just worked and went to therapy, BUT I did wear my "Introvert" shirt and even threw in the flower crown for one of the therapy appointments! And hearing from so many friends is always fun! ❤️
  • My real b-day celebration came once Timmi got to town! She is just the best. She always gets me to do the coolest things and is my co-pilot/DJ for life. ("How do you feel about Pitbull and Ke$ha?" “YES do it!”) Even though it was 1000 degrees, she braved Longwood Gardens with me on Wednesday because she is a true pal and flower devotee! I had no clue that Longwood had a dahlia garden, so that was a wonderful surprise! (Dahlias are my fave, and there were several purple varieties!!) I was literally walking around the dahlias singing "I'm So Excited"! #nochill
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  • On Thursday, Timmi and I went ice skating, which was a hilarious adventure. I took ice skating lessons as a kid, so it came back to me pretty quickly and was so much fun! Except for dodging a million wild kids. 😬

 

  • We also went to two cool mystical shops and got crystals, and I got my aura picture and chakra picture taken! (Timmi had just recently done hers or else she would have been on board.) Purple was a big color for me, which may explain why I'm so drawn to it. 💜 And then we went back to Timmi's house and cuddled with her puppies, and watched Moonstruck, which I'd somehow never seen.
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It was such a delightful two days! I have a hard time leaving the house when I’m alone, so I would not have done these things without Timmi. I had no idea there were so many cool things near my house! My emotions are still coming up and hijacking me at times, but not only am I eating and sleeping again (🙌🏻), the retreat and the time with Timmi have served as a sort of renewal and demonstration of what life can be beyond the bounds of my anxiety. ❤️

 

Hope you have a great long weekend! xo

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High Five for Friday: August 17

JessComment

Thank god it's Friday! You guys, this was one of those weeks where every day is a struggle. Not because anything bad happened, but because my emotions were all over the place. Ugh! But here’s what brought the sparkle:

  • I’ve been posting my outfits on Instagram this month, and I was struggling over the weekend because I was in a capital M Mood and felt totally fake being all smiley and happy. That’s not what this space is about. So when I did my outfit post on Sunday, I was honest about how I was feeling... and it really made me feel better! It's not like I'm the only one who has rough days—so why fake it?
  • On Saturday, I decided that I wasn't going to mope around the house, so I signed up for a yin yoga workshop! I had never done yin before and was actually quite scared! I'm not flexible, and I don't love how you have to stay in poses forever in restorative classes. But it turned out to be a really good class! I shocked myself with the poses I was able to do. It was definitely a physical challenge, but I think my body appreciated the stretching and the peaceful vibe. The teacher was super sweet too, which definitely helped!

 

  • Then I went to my usual Sunday yoga class, which was great, and the teacher shared this—something that really resonated with me:
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  • Did you ever have a random line from a song or a show pop into your head out of nowhere and then it totally bugs you because you can't place it? Well, that happened to me a week or two ago, and I was finally able to track down the scene this week! The line was from Lucky and Liz, naturally. The part I remembered was Lucky saying, "When I all I wanted and couldn't really have was for you not to hurt anymore." Once I found the scene, I discovered that he says it to Liz early in her rape recovery on the topic of revenge. How he wanted to kill the guy that hurt her, but doing so wouldn't take away her pain, and that's what he really wanted. In my capital M Mood this week, I've been really angry, so finding that scene was just like, "Wow, ok Universe, thanks for the reminder!" Like, I do desperately want to feel better—but being angry and hurtful to other people isn't going actually make me feel better, you know? Forget the Bhagavad Gita—apparently, I get all my wisdom from '90s soaps. 😂😂
  • Lastly, along with GH, I went full '90s musically this week and have been listening to a lot of the Goo Goo Dolls! I heard "Slide" on the radio and remembered how much I loved it in sixth grade and would eagerly wait for it to come on the radio. I actually got Dizzy Up the Girl at both houses on Christmas 1998, haha! So "Slide" has been a big one this week, but with "Iris," "Name," and "Black Balloon" thrown in too. I don't know that the Goo Goo Dolls were actually featured on Dawson's Creek, but now I want to watch that too. 😂 #full90s #WhoompThereItIs

Have a great weekend! xo

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High Five for Friday: August 10

JessComment

Let's see what brought the sparkle this week:

  • On Friday night, I went to Recovery Yoga. The last time I was there, it was pretty AA heavy, which is fine—that Bill W. has some solid advice—but I felt out of place, even though it’s not limited to people with addiction issues. But this time around, it quickly turned into a discussion of all forms of therapy! EMDR came up, and I went full Lilo:
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It's always so nice to find an outlet to talk with people who just ✨get it✨ you know?

 

  • Last week was a doozy. But by Saturday (when I left Maggie's), I felt like I had grown. I had felt a lot of things, but being on my own (with my trusty emotional support cat, Pudge!) gave me the space to feel them, cope with them however *I* wanted to (which resulted in doing extra therapy, bugging Kristin, going to yoga, shopping with Karuna, and bingeing Happy Endings), do some scary vulnerable things, and ultimately reach an okay state. That was the motivation behind this post on Instagram, featuring a stalwart sunflower at Maggie's that seemed no worse for the wear even though it poured like every day last week:
  • Speaking of shopping... I went a little nuts last week and weekend. 😬 I had been so good with curtailing my shopping lately that I’m feeling guilty. My birthday is at the end of the month, so I’m thinking of these as early birthday presents! 😉 First up, we have this Target shirt that was too on-brand for me to resist:
I'm documenting my outfits on Instagram this month, so you best believe this baby will be coming soon to an IG near you!

I'm documenting my outfits on Instagram this month, so you best believe this baby will be coming soon to an IG near you!

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All of this cost $37! ($35 was free shipping, natch.) I had been wanting to try them for awhile, and my toner and serum happened to run out at the same time, and I wasn't too pleased with anything in my skincare routine (except for the Glossier Milky Jelly Cleanser, which I am still in love with). And when my life goes to pot, I usually start obsessing over the state of my skin! 😂 Everything is super affordable and targeted... the obvious downside being that you need a million separate products! Stay tuned...

 

  • Lastly, I've been all about Fleetwood Mac this week. It started with "Go Your Own Way," then moved on to "You Make Loving Fun" (prompted by my reading up on songs featuring the clavinet, which is perfectly normal, right?), and then the floodgates opened. Most important, though, was my reacquantainace with the song "Sara." What a damn gorgeous song. I had just been complaining to Timmi (keeper of my Fleetwood Mac feels apparently) that Christine gets no love in favor of Stevie, and then "Sara" made me rethink my grudge. "Drowning in the sea of love where everyone would love to drown..." 😭😭😭

Hope you have a great weekend!

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July 2018 Budget

JessComment
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You guys, I have been buying everything in sight lately! But I apparently still had (some) self-control back in July! 😂 Here’s what I bought:

1. Woman's Wallet with Removable Crossbody Strap (Target):  $17 on sale for $5

2. SP Black Label High Rise Rolled Short (Nordstrom Rack): $43 on sale for $9

3. Darlene Howlite Stone Dagger Ring (Francesca’s):  $14 on sale for $13

TOTAL:  $27

I fell in love with the Francesca’s ring while walking around the mall while particularly out of it with anxiety and depression last month. I didn’t buy it then, but as we learned with my cat scarf, my willpower only lasts about 48 hours! 😂💸 It’s so different and cool-looking, I couldn’t resist. The band turned super quickly, though, which is annoying. 

I had been looking for a slimmer wallet with a detachable crossbody strap, and sign me up for one with iridescent mermaid vibes for $5!

Lastly, these shorts. I had to retire some old jorts this summer, so I was very happy to find these super soft ones at such a big discount! Especially because I don’t usually have much luck with the Nordstrom Rack sale section. I think these exact shorts are sold out, as I couldn't find them on the Rack website, or else I would have linked to them. Womp womp. At least they give me an excuse to post this:

Is this the kind of thing that's only funny after two English degrees?

Is this the kind of thing that's only funny after two English degrees?

What did you buy in July?

High Five for Friday: August 3

JessComment

Anybody else in their feelings this week?! 🙋🏼‍♀️ Let’s see what brought the sparkle:

  • PUDGE!! I was reunited with my dear, sweet Pudgie Princess this week (and she is currently nestled beside me purring 😭). She is truly, as Timmi put it, "the best velvet purring loaf." 😂😻
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  • On Saturday, I went over to Kristin's, where she joked that she was going to "make" me watch The Big Chill. Now, I love The Big Chill—and so does she! So you can imagine our surprise when we couldn't remember any of the characters’ names! Whoops! Also, I'm sad that there's not a gif of my favorite line: Jeff Goldblum, who has had to sleep in one of the kids' airplane-shaped beds, announces (in light of all the other various hook-ups going on in the house) that "I was all alone in my airplane, no co-pilot." I legit say this IRL because I am insane.

 

  • I wasn't going to go to my usual Sunday yoga class, since I was staying at Maggie's with Pudge, but I had a change of heart when I woke up wildly anxious and had watched like half a season of Happy Endings by noon! It was a really great class. We had a sub with the most calming voice, and I managed to get a few minutes of anxiety relief. She was also super positive that I had come at all when I told her how I was feeling, which warmed my heart.

 

  • Maggie's housemate (and one of my fellow YTT gals) Karuna was around this week, which was a godsend. Which I'm super anxious, I have a really hard time being alone with my thoughts and feelings, and Karuna very kindly let me pace around her bedroom and beat her ear! We also had an awesome impromptu Target and tarot night!
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  • Therapy was another godsend this week. (Three appointments in four days 10/10 would recommend.) I feel so crazy when I get triggered because it's like my system gets completely hijacked—I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus on anything, it's just bad news. And then I beat myself up about it, which is obviously super helpful. 🙄My one therapist, though, very gently pointed out that, based on my history, there are just some things that will take me from zero to sixty (even though I would really really prefer they didn't). So in that framework, my reaction is normal (or at least makes more sense). I so compare myself to other people in these moments, but their normal isn't my normal and vice versa. Now I just need to actually get that through my head! 😂

 

Hope you have a great weekend! xoxo

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