I only recently stumbled upon the great blog Ember Grey (host of the "Grateful Heart" linkup!), so this is my first foray into Emily's "Twelve Months of Bliss" link-up. November's focus was positive self-talk, and the assignment came at just the right time, as my therapist was trying to get me to stop being so hard on myself, post-yoga retreat. :)
In general, I have a really hard time with the positive self-talk, and this month was no different. I was listening to Glee's (AWESOME) "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty" mash-up and could so relate, except it's not my significant other or anyone else putting me down, it's the anxious/perfectionist part of myself doing it. While I am addressing some of these patterns and memories in EMDR, I also need to be aware of that negative self-talk as it's happening, so that I don't beat myself up and perpetuate un-reality.
Never insecure until I met you, now I'm being stupid. I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny. Why do I look to all these things to keep you happy? Maybe get rid of you and then I'll get back to me.
The other part of this month's assignment was to write a love letter to yourself... which I naturally put off until a few days ago! ;) In the love letter, though, I actually was able to take a step back and acknowledge the major things I've overcome this year, like my crippling fear of driving. I feel like I need to be moving and working constantly, but I've done and continue to do so much to grow and challenge myself. I deserve a break sometimes, and, as much as relaxing makes me anxious, I'm only going to get used to it the more I'm exposed to it... just as I learned with exposure therapy for driving. Lindsay at Not a Mom used this quote in her H54F post last week, and I LOVED it. It's just so perfect for where I am right now:
"Allow yourself to be good enough." Definitely something I need to keep in mind.
Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving, and I'll see you back here Friday for our regularly scheduled H54F post! :) xoxo