Last Thursday, I drove to work, and then had the strangest thought later that day: I can go somewhere. I can LEAVE during lunch. I could even investigate this Nordstrom Rack that is allegedly not too far away!
In the two years that I've been at my job, I've only gone out to lunch on days when my co-workers are celebrating something. There's just not much within walking distance. But I must say, once the idea of taking the car out began to bloom, anxious thoughts popped up like weeds to choke it down: "You don't NEED to go out. What if something happens? What if you get into an accident? You don't even know where you're going! THIS IS MADNESS." I do tend to have almost OCD-like fears with driving, like I'm pushing the envelope and something bad will happen if I drive, since driving is not fully necessary (i.e., one can exist without driving). Some form of these fears is responsible for my lack of driving over the past ten years.
But not on this day :) (What do we say to the god of death? NOT TODAY!)
Three months ago, I'm not sure which idea would have been more laughable: driving to work alone or driving someplace completely unfamiliar on a whim. And while both scenarios produce some degree of anxiety these days, it's not crippling. I'm not its slave anymore. For anyone debating the grueling work of exposure therapy, that is the payoff. And it is so very rewarding.
Linking up with The Pleated Poppy for What I Wore Wednesday!